Dev Log #7 - Week 8: Mental Breaking Points, Refactoring, and Pushing Through

This past week has been a mix of frustration, setbacks, and moments of progress. Every day feels like a battle, whether it’s fighting against a broken system or trying to push forward with game development despite the mental toll everything is taking. But, as always, I keep moving. Below is a breakdown of what’s been happening.

Friday - Day 46: A Meeting Full of Contradictions

The social worker finally came to see my mother as a potential supervisor for contact, a process that should have taken weeks but instead dragged out for five months. The meeting itself was nothing short of infuriating—full of contradictions and nonsensical restrictions.

Example:

• Q: Since she’s a supervisor now, can we go on a week long family holiday?
• A: Yes, as long as she supervises all contact.
• Q: If my mother is at another family members house, like having tea there on say a Monday can me and the kids go like we used to?
• A: No, only during "family time" hours.
• Q: But you just said we can go on a week long holiday. How does that make sense, if we can go on holiday for a week but not see another family member at their house?
• A: The kids can only see Dad within the restricted hours.
  
• Q: But what about the holiday?
• A: Yes, a holiday is fine as long as its within the set agreed times. 

So apparently, we could take a week-long holiday in Spain, but we’d only be allowed to interact between Thursday-Friday (for 4 hours a day) and Saturday-Sunday (7 hours a day)... It’s absolute bullshit.

Saturday-Sunday - Days 47-48: Burnout and Frustration

I didn’t do anything. I was too angry and frustrated with the entire situation. Spent the weekend just trying to get my head straight, along with family time.

Monday - Day 49: Breaking Point

This was a full shutdown day. Couldn’t deal with anything. Spent the whole day hiding under a quilt in my sister’s room, just unable to function. The weight of everything—false promises, endless waiting, and being forcibly kept away from my family—is suffocating.

Tuesday - Day 50: Finding a Small Moment of Peace & Pushing Forward

Woke up still in a foul mood, but after picking up my wife from work, we had a short but meaningful 45 minutes together. We lay in what was once our bed, holding each other, pretending—just for a moment—that things were normal. In that brief time, we shared something intimate, something familiar. Then, as she rested against my chest, I heard a sound that used to annoy me endlessly—her soft snores. Five months ago, it was just noise. Now, it was a comforting reminder of everything I’ve been fighting for. That small moment of peace, of love, was enough to ground me and push me back into work.

Development Progress:

• Continued refactoring (still stuck, but pushing through).
• Created a custom Trello button to help with the refactoring process.
• Worked on V.I.R.U.S (Virtual Information and Resources for Undead Survivors), an AI system for Rotten Dawn.
• Replaced all fn_errorprints with a new C++ function for better performance.
• Moved character movement to a separate component (BPC_CharacterComponent).
• Reworked all inputs to the new Enhanced Input System.
• Made several general improvements to streamline development.
• Found a potential issue in the inventory widgets—left mouse button isn’t firing properly.

Wednesday - Day 51: More Delays, More Stress, More Lies

Spent the day working on the player stats and damage system, trying to get them properly integrated. This is key before moving onto the Player Inventory Component, which will control equipping clothing/weapons and handling stats for animations.

While dealing with all this, I got more bad news: the legal battle is now expected to drag on for at least another six months—likely leading to a Finding of Facts hearing that will extend the process even further. So, after already waiting five months, I’m now looking at over a year of fighting just to get back to my family.

Meanwhile, my solicitor is chasing down:

• The Local Authority’s threshold document (which they’re conveniently avoiding).
• School reports that should have been available months ago.
• Clarification on the "holiday" contradiction from social services.
• Family Time Review - Meant to happen every 4 weeks, but its been 3+ months without a review...

This day ended in pure anger and frustration. I’m sick of the lies, sick of the delays, and sick of being kept in limbo while others pretend this is just "the process."

Development Work:

• Started integrating the equipment system with the damage system.
• Trying to untangle overlapping mechanics between these two systems—it’s a mess, and merging them is proving to be a challenge.

Thursday - Day 52 (Planned Work)

The Character Component and Player Inventory Component are the two core systems in Rotten Dawn, and I need to finish them.

• The Character Component drives player emotions, stats, and animations.
• The Player Inventory controls all world interactions and inventory management.

These two systems need to be fully functional and properly integrated before I can move on to other mechanics.

Friday - Day 53 (Planned Work)

If Thursday goes well, Friday will be a full day of testing to ensure:

• Character Component and Inventory Component work together smoothly.
• All interactions and animations trigger correctly.
• No major bugs in these core systems.

If I can get this done, it’ll be a major step forward in development.

Weekend - Days 54-55 (Planned Family Time, But Uncertain)

We’ve asked for extended family time—a full day instead of the useless 7-hour window we’re being given. We want to actually go somewhere—to take a trip, make real memories—but what we’re allowed isn’t just restrictive, it’s completely impractical.

For example, we planned to visit the zoo, which sounds simple enough, right? But when you factor in a four-hour round trip on the train, that leaves us with barely 3 hours—maybe just 2 if the train is delayed—to actually enjoy the experience before rushing back. That’s not a "day out." That’s a countdown clock, a reminder that we’re operating on borrowed time, constantly watching the minutes slip away instead of actually being present in the moment.

The response from social services?
"It’s what you asked for."

No. It’s not.

We asked for full days (7 AM - 8 PM), with flexibility to extend if we’re out traveling. We’re an active family—we love to explore, to go on adventures, to travel around the UK and experience different places together. But instead of supporting that, they’ve twisted our words and boxed us into a schedule that actively prevents us from doing what makes us a family in the first place.

If we do get extended time, I’ll focus on making the most of every second. If not? Then it’s just another weekend lost to frustration, exhaustion, and yet another example of how this system isn’t built to support families—it’s built to restrict them.

Reflections & What’s Next

This week has been one of the hardest so far, but I’m still pushing forward. Between emotional breakdowns, legal setbacks, and the ongoing challenges of refactoring, I’ve still managed to make solid progress on Rotten Dawn—even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

🔹 Core Goals for Next Week:

• Finish integrating Character Component & Player Inventory Component.
• Begin testing and debugging equipment/damage interactions.
• Continue refining inventory mechanics for smoother interactions.

One major shift I’ve decided on is stopping the 100-day challenge. Rotten Dawn was never meant to be finished in 100 days—it was meant to see me through this battle, acting as a personal countdown to the day I could finally go home. But now? That countdown feels meaningless. What was supposed to be a few months has now stretched into nearly a year, and with even more delays on the horizon, I don’t know how to measure the time anymore.

So maybe the challenge changes. Maybe it’s no longer a countdown but instead a commitment to keep moving forward, no matter how long this fight lasts. Because at the end of it all, I will finish this game, and I will get my life back.

Until next time: Keep believing, keep building, and above all, keep surviving.